Wednesday
In Gonks house. Awoke (or came around rather) and Barry was already drinking. At 10am. So Stu and I hit the sauce too. Seemed rude not to. Went back to Mums at 4pm for grub then took me and a bottle of Smirnoff home to Burry where I proceeded to booze all night. I shall have a brimstone hangover from the septic bile of Lucifer in the morning but im determined that this will be my last binge. I need to get clean.
Smoked only 5 ciggies which I was happy about. Took some Valium and Mogadon cosh to add more fruit to my already hammering buzz. Drank a sh!t load of vodka. Later in the evening I decided to feed nextdoors cat!? Why? Who but the God Of Alcohol knows?
I slipped into a total drunken heap by 1am.
ZZZZzzzzzz
1997 Diary of Poet Steven Francis. Larger than Life, wiser than Yoda! This journal features failure and successes. And blood, never forget the blood...
Showing posts with label 1996. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 1996. Show all posts
Friday, 7 December 2012
Friday, 16 November 2012
December 30th, 1996
Monday
Came around (I never 'wake up' during a binge) feeling rather dodgy which irony of iront, thought of a doctors appointment did ittle to help ease my pains. Still I did drink a litre of strong cider before I went in at 4pm. I simply cannot face that woman straight. Luckily I did too because I was in with her for just over half hour just shooting the shit about life in general. (City folks won't understand this with their 5 minute and out doctors sessions.) I got the desired pills! Nitrazepam (Mogadon) 10mg in liquid cosh form and 5mg Valium yum yum. Not only 10 and 5 mg I hasten to add! Those are just the strength of medication im on, I have a prescription for a week. Very very happy. Bead bloody chuffed. Although I won't abuse them to the point of having none left before my next appointment.
This now means that the pangs of alcohol withdrawal will be softer on my body and soul. I even gave the cosh and tablets to Mum to keep safe. Stu and I went down to Gonks house for the evening. Went back to half a bottle of vodka in Pen Y Mynydd and slept sound! I did feel rather low but now of course I feel fantastic. In the morning I will be low agian but this is why my prescription is a good thing. A cushion to fall back on after a binge but of course this is not what the medication is for haha!
Actual page from my diary
Came around (I never 'wake up' during a binge) feeling rather dodgy which irony of iront, thought of a doctors appointment did ittle to help ease my pains. Still I did drink a litre of strong cider before I went in at 4pm. I simply cannot face that woman straight. Luckily I did too because I was in with her for just over half hour just shooting the shit about life in general. (City folks won't understand this with their 5 minute and out doctors sessions.) I got the desired pills! Nitrazepam (Mogadon) 10mg in liquid cosh form and 5mg Valium yum yum. Not only 10 and 5 mg I hasten to add! Those are just the strength of medication im on, I have a prescription for a week. Very very happy. Bead bloody chuffed. Although I won't abuse them to the point of having none left before my next appointment.
This now means that the pangs of alcohol withdrawal will be softer on my body and soul. I even gave the cosh and tablets to Mum to keep safe. Stu and I went down to Gonks house for the evening. Went back to half a bottle of vodka in Pen Y Mynydd and slept sound! I did feel rather low but now of course I feel fantastic. In the morning I will be low agian but this is why my prescription is a good thing. A cushion to fall back on after a binge but of course this is not what the medication is for haha!
Actual page from my diary
Tuesday, 13 November 2012
28 & 29 December, 1996
Saturday
Went to Grans and my Aunt and Uncle from Penclawdd were there watching the Eisteddfod. "Why don't you go into that?" Della asked. "It has to be Welsh language poetry," I replied. "To my shame, Ive only written a few Welsh poems." "Dylan Thomas never won a Chair eithe", Barnett chipped in. True too, we both were destined to never appear in the Eisteddfod. Ive been to them mind you, but not appeared IN them.
The evening was fraught with tension. Mainly from Dad not going out and because I dislike watching television, I froze in my bedroom all night. Dad doesn't watch the same things I do anyway. Mum wants me to bother the doctor about my nervous tension, anxiety and panic attacks but im not going to be pill'd out of my head on doctors orders. On MY orders YES, and when I want a buzz but never through a doc.
Smoked 11 cigarettes. Went to bed 3am.
Zero Alcohol
Sunday
Woke up and took a few Valium. Went to Pen Y Mynydd for sunday roast and decided to stay over for the night. Ann Marie brought Jade over and we (Mum, Stu, Jade and Myself) went to Clydach market, then back to Grans for tea. Jade has gone so busy! She's into everything! So beautiful, proud Uncle here.
In Pen Y Mynydd I drank a bottle of vodka and cans of lager. Must have smoked 12 damned ciggies too, the filthy, rotten things. Went down to Gonk's house later in the evening with Stu. Good laugh. Pissed drunk all night.
Hic!!
Went to Grans and my Aunt and Uncle from Penclawdd were there watching the Eisteddfod. "Why don't you go into that?" Della asked. "It has to be Welsh language poetry," I replied. "To my shame, Ive only written a few Welsh poems." "Dylan Thomas never won a Chair eithe", Barnett chipped in. True too, we both were destined to never appear in the Eisteddfod. Ive been to them mind you, but not appeared IN them.
The evening was fraught with tension. Mainly from Dad not going out and because I dislike watching television, I froze in my bedroom all night. Dad doesn't watch the same things I do anyway. Mum wants me to bother the doctor about my nervous tension, anxiety and panic attacks but im not going to be pill'd out of my head on doctors orders. On MY orders YES, and when I want a buzz but never through a doc.
Smoked 11 cigarettes. Went to bed 3am.
Zero Alcohol
Sunday
Woke up and took a few Valium. Went to Pen Y Mynydd for sunday roast and decided to stay over for the night. Ann Marie brought Jade over and we (Mum, Stu, Jade and Myself) went to Clydach market, then back to Grans for tea. Jade has gone so busy! She's into everything! So beautiful, proud Uncle here.
In Pen Y Mynydd I drank a bottle of vodka and cans of lager. Must have smoked 12 damned ciggies too, the filthy, rotten things. Went down to Gonk's house later in the evening with Stu. Good laugh. Pissed drunk all night.
Hic!!
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