December 31st, 1996

Tuesday

Took 2 Valium and few spoonfuls of Mogadon cosh. Went over to Gonks house with Stu at 2pm and stayed all night drinking with him, Marcia and a fellow named Barry. Marcia made sandwiches and hot dogs, we all watched films and played Monopoly (seems you can play it drunk.) Was a good night. New Years Eve, although it didn't feel like it at all. Man I put away some alcohol! There was cider, lager and there was Special Brew! Lifesbood of tramps and street poets the world over (or at least wherever sells the soupy Brew.)
Good company is essential on a night like this. Had I been in Elkington Towers I would have been alone because the younger crews have all lost their f**king minds to student music and flights of fancy. Rats! F*k them all.
I must have dozed off (well fallen comatose) around 2am. Smoked 20 ciggues but steered clear of the grren bud. It works for others but weed/cannabis has never got me off. I just feel ill with it. I'll stick to pills, powders and booze. We're all different and the chalk takes me exactly where I want to go. Its my gear.


Going This Life Alone

December 30th, 1996

Monday

Came around (I never 'wake up' during a binge) feeling rather dodgy which irony of iront, thought of a doctors appointment did ittle to help ease my pains. Still I did drink a litre of strong cider before I went in at 4pm. I simply cannot face that woman straight. Luckily I did too because I was in with her for just over half hour just shooting the shit about life in general. (City folks won't understand this with their 5 minute and out doctors sessions.) I got the desired pills! Nitrazepam (Mogadon) 10mg in liquid cosh form and 5mg Valium yum yum. Not only 10 and 5 mg I hasten to add! Those are just the strength of medication im on, I have a prescription for a week. Very very happy. Bead bloody chuffed. Although I won't abuse them to the point of having none left before my next appointment.
This now means that the pangs of alcohol withdrawal will be softer on my body and soul. I even gave the cosh and tablets to Mum to keep safe. Stu and I went down to Gonks house for the evening. Went back to half a bottle of vodka in Pen Y Mynydd and slept sound! I did feel rather low but now of course I feel fantastic. In the morning I will be low agian but this is why my prescription is a good thing. A cushion to fall back on after a binge but of course this is not what the medication is for haha!


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