Friday
God I feel worn out. Awoke 8:30am but I think I could have slept all day, talk about feeling lethargic! But ive got to clean the beer debris and bags of bile from my room (glamorous huh?) then take a much needed bath. Its been three days since I bathed. One of the many downsides to addiction is it stinks. Literally! Took a few Valium.
Danny called over, talk about suprise,thought everyone had forgotten me. He gave me his college address. Took me ages to have a bloody bath, I was glad when he left.
Had 10 Mogadon (Nitrazepam) delivered by the 'Candyman', so now I have Nitrazepam in both liquid and chalk (tablet) form. Plus valium. Very happy!
My Korn hooded sweatshirt arrived. Cool. Took 25mg of Mogadon cosh and 2 valium 5mg at 6:30pm, f**k it I was bored and Jonesing for a buzz off something. Sat in my room floating, and f**k its cold too! Don't bother going out much when im off the booze. Smoked 10 ciggies and when Dad went out I went downstairs for a mooch about, see what was on the History channel. Crashed out at 1:15am after watching 'Seven' (Morgan Freeman and Kevin Spacey.) Brilliant film. Critics said it was as good as 'The Silence Of The Lambs' but I thought it was better. Morgan Freeman is one of Americas best actors and im a big fan of most of his work. He has a mesmerising screen presence and hisvoice is so perfect in that velvety, scotch tinged drawl.
Zero Booze
1997 Diary of Poet Steven Francis. Larger than Life, wiser than Yoda! This journal features failure and successes. And blood, never forget the blood...
Friday 21 December 2012
Thursday 13 December 2012
January 2nd, 1997
Thursday
Sick with bile all day. Green stream flowing from my yawn like a nuclear leak from another world. Woe is me! I took a few Valium but reckon I must have thrown them up again because I felt none calmer. The effects these binges have on me is madness so it has to be the straight and narrow for this boyo from now on. No booze and AA meetings. I remained in bed all day reading and re reading Playstation magazines, trying to find some humour to ease the suffering. I feel like utter crap! Worse than crap.
The only susbstance to have passed my lips (besides the Valium) is water. Think i'll go on a fruit and vegetable diet for a week to clean my insides out. Total detox. I feel sick just thinking about meat and junk food! Began to to feel a bit better by 10pm ish, and at 11:25pm took 25mg Nitrazepam.
Went downstairs and watched a few progs id recorded: Only Fools and Horses and Ronnie Barker: A Life in Comedy. Loved old Ronnie, perfect comedy timing. Felt the Mogadon cosh doing its job. Felt oh so mellow and lovely. Yes lovely is the perfect word to describe the feelings when under the magical influence of Nitrazepam. Beautiful stuff, an elixir from the gods.
Smoked 6 cigarettes (f**king things) and went to bed 2:20am
Zero Booze
Sick with bile all day. Green stream flowing from my yawn like a nuclear leak from another world. Woe is me! I took a few Valium but reckon I must have thrown them up again because I felt none calmer. The effects these binges have on me is madness so it has to be the straight and narrow for this boyo from now on. No booze and AA meetings. I remained in bed all day reading and re reading Playstation magazines, trying to find some humour to ease the suffering. I feel like utter crap! Worse than crap.
The only susbstance to have passed my lips (besides the Valium) is water. Think i'll go on a fruit and vegetable diet for a week to clean my insides out. Total detox. I feel sick just thinking about meat and junk food! Began to to feel a bit better by 10pm ish, and at 11:25pm took 25mg Nitrazepam.
Went downstairs and watched a few progs id recorded: Only Fools and Horses and Ronnie Barker: A Life in Comedy. Loved old Ronnie, perfect comedy timing. Felt the Mogadon cosh doing its job. Felt oh so mellow and lovely. Yes lovely is the perfect word to describe the feelings when under the magical influence of Nitrazepam. Beautiful stuff, an elixir from the gods.
Smoked 6 cigarettes (f**king things) and went to bed 2:20am
Zero Booze
Friday 7 December 2012
January 1st, 1997
Wednesday
In Gonks house. Awoke (or came around rather) and Barry was already drinking. At 10am. So Stu and I hit the sauce too. Seemed rude not to. Went back to Mums at 4pm for grub then took me and a bottle of Smirnoff home to Burry where I proceeded to booze all night. I shall have a brimstone hangover from the septic bile of Lucifer in the morning but im determined that this will be my last binge. I need to get clean.
Smoked only 5 ciggies which I was happy about. Took some Valium and Mogadon cosh to add more fruit to my already hammering buzz. Drank a sh!t load of vodka. Later in the evening I decided to feed nextdoors cat!? Why? Who but the God Of Alcohol knows?
I slipped into a total drunken heap by 1am.
ZZZZzzzzzz
In Gonks house. Awoke (or came around rather) and Barry was already drinking. At 10am. So Stu and I hit the sauce too. Seemed rude not to. Went back to Mums at 4pm for grub then took me and a bottle of Smirnoff home to Burry where I proceeded to booze all night. I shall have a brimstone hangover from the septic bile of Lucifer in the morning but im determined that this will be my last binge. I need to get clean.
Smoked only 5 ciggies which I was happy about. Took some Valium and Mogadon cosh to add more fruit to my already hammering buzz. Drank a sh!t load of vodka. Later in the evening I decided to feed nextdoors cat!? Why? Who but the God Of Alcohol knows?
I slipped into a total drunken heap by 1am.
ZZZZzzzzzz
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